I have been working on mastering quitting for years. I am really proud of my progress. Quitting is so undervalued. It is looked down upon, sneered at … I mean we all know that: Only Losers Quit. I however, have discovered that quitting is SOMETIMES exactly what I need to do to move forward, to create newly, to expand myself. So I let myself quit things that no longer serve me.
Here is how I started being able to quit:
One day I had officially had it … I was done, shut down, blocked and frustrated … I was ready to quit everything. It was time for a new life. Suddenly I remembered that I had a knapsack on the top shelf of my closet. I walked into my closet, announcing out loud as a open it,” That’s it … I quit … I am outta’ here,” (no one was there to hear me … the dog followed me wagging her tail thinking I was talking to her since I was talking out loud). I took down the knapsack and placed it in the middle of the closet floor. Then I begin to look around. It is a decent size knapsack, but it only fits so much so I needed to choose wisely.
I considered, as quickly as possible, the current season and begin reaching for a pair of shoes, a few shirts/blouses, a pair of jeans, a sweater, thin jacket (I am a warm weather person so I didn’t plan on ending up anywhere too cold) … I scanned around … a pair of shorts for warmer weather, some flip flops, etc. I rolled each piece up and began placing them into the knapsack … remembering that I needed to leave room on top for some food for the dog and myself (she only weighs 3 ½ pounds so she doesn’t eat much).
At some point in the process I felt the giggle begin to rise up inside. Soon I was laughing so hard that there were laugh tears rolling down my cheeks. I never even got out of the closet with the knapsack let alone out of the house. I didn’t need to quit my whole life. I could see that all I needed to do was allow myself to quit … to give myself permission to stop … to be willing to let it all go. Having that permission to quit felt sooooooooo good. My heart was racing at the thought of it all … I really COULD quit.
I quickly put the clothes and shoes back. I lovingly thanked my knapsack and put it back on the shelf, in case I needed it again, and checked in on myself. I found myself smiling and refreshed. New ideas were bubbling up and my creativity was soaring. I was back on again. I went back to my life and it suddenly seemed rich and like I had chosen it newly.
That was a BIG day for me. I had never known myself as a quitter … I thought of myself as a warrior … I could stick with anything, keep anything moving, work anything out, push through anything. People had to get rid of me vs. me ever quitting anything. I WAS NOT a QUITTER! And yet here I was … in the process of quitting discovering that having the ability to quit MIGHT just be one of those untapped secrets to getting my power back and ridding myself of some of creativity barriers.
I started to look around at how I could use the results of knowing I could quit in my life. Seemed to me that if I could quit my current life then there may be other things that I could give myself permission to quit too. It also seemed that there might be some things that I could really completely quit, not just get the experience of quitting like I did with my little closet episode.
Then things began to show up … things that I should have quit long ago, but that I had hung onto instead just to prove I wasn’t a quitter. Many of those things were the very things that zapped my energy, my power and my creativity. They were the things that left me stuck and with an existence vs. being really alive and the one who got to say how my life goes. It was everywhere including in my Art.
Since then I have practiced quitting in a lot of ways, with a lot of things that no longer serve me. Here are some of them:
- I have quit creating things I am not passionate about …
- I have quit saying and acting like I don’t have time for my Art …
- I have quit listening to common BS excuses from myself and others …
- I have quit doing things for a living that I hate …
- I have quit thinking there is only one way for me to paint or one subject I can paint …
- I have quit forcing myself to engage in scenarios that do not resonate with me …
- I have quit belittling and making myself wrong about things …
- I have quit letting anyone else belittle me or try to make me wrong…
- I have quit limiting my writing to poetry
- I have quit undervaluing myself and being underpaid …
- I have quit believing “authorities” & “experts” just because they are labeled “authorities” and “experts” …
- I have quit engaging in activates and supporting companies that hurt the planet or animals …
- I have quit giving my power away to others …
- I have quit trying to force myself to like working with certain Art mediums …
- I have quit living in places I don’t love …
- I have quit tolerating a mediocre life …
In addition to learning how to quit there is this fascinating new space for me to create in … this big wide-open space ready to be filled with exactly what I want and exactly how I want my life to look. Every time I have quit something that no longer served me I have had the opportunity to create newly what I want to fill that space instead.
I have created things like:
- This kick-butt wildly fun life
- Adventures of all kinds with all kinds of people
- New methods to create with my painting and photography
- Being surrounded by people who inspire and empower me
- A career that turns me on every moment I am engaged in it and where I am paid my value
- A home on the ocean surrounded by warm weather and nature and the sound and smell of the waves
- Time to work on my Art
- Powerfully being me no matter what
- Passion in everything I do
Quitting has benefited me in so many ways and I now get to pick and choose what I stick with and what I quit. If it serves me I stick with it. If it doesn’t I quit it AND LET IT GO! Is there a little challenge in deciding? Well … not really any more as I have fine-tuned my ability to trust my Inner wisdom on this. But at the beginning I needed to learn to discern between things I simply don’t like and therefore I don’t necessarily need to quit and the things that really do not resonate with my heart/soul that I really do need to let go of.
There are things in my life that even though I do not “like” them I do need to stick with them. Perhaps there is a lesson in them for me or they still serve me, as they are exactly what I need at this point in my life to move to my next step of my evolution. For example: A cycle I need to complete or a relationship that I need to repair vs. toss out just because I am upset at the moment. It has taken some real fine-tuning to know the difference. I started where I started … practicing quitting one thing at a time … little things then bigger things.
One thing I know for sure is that some things I just needed to quit. So I did. And now when I find myself engaging in things that block me or sabotage me or that are clearly not aligned with who I am … I quit faster. Do I ever use my knapsack any more? You bet I do. However, now I know that I have complete freedom to quit at any time so that is sufficient. So, it is not very often that I get all the way to the closet.
However, there are still those occasional days when my humanity takes over and I can’t create anything or when I feel completely shut down or when it seems nothing is working. I get that feeling like I REALLY am ready to quit it all … just walk out and leave the key behind and start over somewhere or how. I will march into that closet, followed again the dog wagging her tail (by now she knows the drill) and pull down that knapsack. I will then, fueled with all of my upset or frustration or anger, begin to scan around. Funny enough I sometimes don’t even begin to put things in the knapsack before the giggling starts and I am back out creating again.
I think that there are things we just need to quit doing, accepting, tolerating, engaging in and thinking about in order to be powerful. The more things I quit that no longer resonate with me or serve me, the more my Higher SELF gets to run the show, my real self-expression gets to show up and my creativity expands throughout my life. These days I give myself complete permission to quit and let go of anything AND I also give myself complete permission to create newly.
What do you need to quit? What is it in your life or your career or your Art that no longer serves who you really are?
Is it time to give yourSELF permission to be a quitter?
As always, I would love to hear from you … nothing gives me more pleasure than being able to engage with others in an inquiry while connecting with each other as we share! That is something I won’t be quitting!!
I need to quit using media in my art that don’t serve me and concentrate on graphite pencil portraits, my strength, to become better and better and to get the business side going again by being pro-active and following through. I need more commissions, need to evaluate how much to spend advertising, promoting etc and just ‘keep at it’.
Hilary – Thank you for spending the time to comment! I am so glad that you can see something to quit … I find that every time I have quit something that doesn’t serve me it propels everything else forward & it is much easier for me to keep my business moving & “keep at it” when I am doing the things that serve me vs. spending my time on those things that don’t (they eat up so much energy & stagnate my creativity too). Bravo!!!! Good for you!!!!
Most inspiring read, a fabulous article thst I need to read every day. Good to know that I’m not alone..lol! Thanks for the great read!
Kathie – You are definitely NOT alone! LOL … thank you for reading & taking the time to comment … please do keep reading if it makes a difference & more important keep quitting! 🙂
I would really really like to quit worrying.
I xan be incredibly brave and bold. But then sit worrying about it.
I don’t regret my actions because I think it through carefully before hand. But I seem ti have this wasteful energy sapping worry phase that I so far…..have to go through.
Sue – Great thing to work on … you are right on … worry is an enormous creativity and LIFE zapper! Now the trick is not to worry about your worrying. I found for me that worrying was like an addiction at one point in life and when I started looking at it that way I was able to come up with strategies to let it go. Perhaps look at how you can create a new pattern … I started using my “thinking time” to be grateful instead of worrying. The minute I would feel a worry begin to arise I would flip over to looking for things to be grateful for. Bottom line is to see if you can find a replacement for the worrying vs. resisting it or trying to suppress it (which only gives it more weight and expands it). I am inspired by the courage you have to look it in the eyes & work with it … I sending you lots of bright energy for your process.
These are the things I quit on a daily basis when going to the studio:
Believing that there is only one kind of subject matter ( eg. landscape ) which experts would like to ” brand ” me with.
Quit undermining the value of my paintings, knowing that works arrive from passion, but are largely divorced from
the selling process.
Quit aspiring to the need to be accepted/ approved by experts and gallery owners.
Quit believing that this is not a once off understanding, but an on going process.
Thank you, interesting subject matter.
WHOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO Joan!!!! THAT is a great Quit List! I bet it makes your studio time much more enjoyable and productive and from the heart. Thank you for sharing for the benefit of all of us.
This great post is an eye opener again Kym! Quit or say no is never easy for me. Fear and getting used to is often why I don’t quit. I’ll keep this post in mind. Thanks Kym.
Thank you, Jacqueline … it does take practice … but once you start quitting or saying no to those things that do not serve you it becomes easier and easier. Try it on … quit or say no to something today!
Timely post for me! I need to quit procrastinating because there are so many outlets I have that I freeze trying to decide in which direction I need to head at any given time. I’m a designer by nature so, for instance, I want to draw today. No, I want to take photographs. No, I want to post on my blog. No, I want to paint something. No, I want to write an article. No, I want to decorate that guest bedroom. No, I want to whip up some culinary delight. Gawwwww! So, instead, I stall and just jump on my computer, read my emails, read these great posts on LinkedIn, etc. I really am thinking of packing that bag and heading to some deserted cabin in the woods somewhere that has no internet or cell phone service!! But that’s just a bandaid. I need a cure!
Cat – Thank you for taking the time to share what it is like for you (of course, it may be that you got to procrastinate something in the meantime … smile). Yes, that deserted cabin in the woods would be just a band-aid no matter how pleasant it may be … and even there you might still not make decisions about what to do & then simply find yourself staring at the birds in the tree or the deer across across the field. So the first thing to quit is the indecisiveness, perhaps? Be compassionate with you … this is not new I bet so you are probably not going to re-pattern your brain overnight AND it can totally altered. I am here if you want any suggestions (I really hold myself back from making suggestions without permission 🙂 )
I must quit the worry and fear and just do it………thanks for this great mind altering article
Keri – Good for YOU!!! It will free up so much of your life, time and energy to quit worrying and being in fear! Thank you for reading and letting me know that it made a difference for you! I am Cheering you ON!